Gotta Get Up From Here
by ApathyandEmpathy
Summary: Set during 4.4, Effy comforts Emily after the infamous BBQ.


**A/N: Set during Katie's episode this follows Emily after the scene at the BBQ, my take on what happened between Emily leaving and Katie finding her at the end. Not sure if this is going to be a one-shot or if I will continue, all reviews/comments/other welcome and much appreciated…**

**I've been having serious writers block for so long now that everything I've tried to write has gone nowhere but this just seemed to come to me so hopefully this will be the start of my muse returning! Not beta'd all mistakes are my own.**

**Chapter One **

The words were still ringing in Emily's ears as she trudged out of Naomi's house, one foot placed precariously in front of the other as she struggled to stay upright the grief and heartbreak she was carrying around acting as a dead weight as she tried to escape from everyone's sight.

Taking a long sip from the bottle she was desperately clinging to Emily felt herself stumble heavily against a fence and while she was mildly aware that she should feel pain, nothing came. Enveloped in a numbness of alcohol and drugs the twin didn't even register the blood which began to drip down her arm, the red a stark contrast against her pale skin.

She only made it as far as the park opposite Naomi's house before she collapsed, hidden in the shadow of one of the trees Emily lent against the trunk and waited for the tears to stop.

'Emily'

A soft voice pulled the redhead from her trance, but she didn't look up, choosing instead to stare blankly across the empty field she was vaguely aware of someone sitting next to her. The warmth of the both next to hers made Emily realise how cold she was, and shivering she reached for her vodka but before she could drink she felt nimble fingers close around her hand and lower the bottle again.

'That's not gonna help you know'

The double meaning was not lost on Emily, who couldn't stop the bitter laugh that escaped her 'Well that's not entirely true is it?'

Turning to face her friend she wasn't ready for the intensity of the blue orbs staring back at her and was forced to turn away again 'What do you want Effy?'

'Here' the brunette said softly, sliding her jacket off gracefully and placing it around the twin's shoulders 'Might be sunny but it's still fucking cold'

The other girl said nothing after that and Emily was grateful for the comfortable silence in which they sat. The past few days had been a nightmare of blazing arguments and sullen, angry silences the painful existence at Naomi's house only broken by equally vicious arguments with her mother.

Sighing Emily tossed the half-full bottle of vodka away from her, 'Everything is so fucked up'

Effy nodded as she took two cigarettes from her pocket, lighting them both she passed one to Emily 'She loves you'

'I know. But it's not always enough is it?' Emily questioned, taking a quick drag as she glanced at her friend 'What about you? How's the whole-love thing working out for you, new improved Effy and all that shit...?'

Emily shook her head as her sentence trailed off, she hadn't meant to sound so horrible, but she couldn't seem to help it. Ever since the day on the rooftop it was as though something inside of her had changed, broken, and she couldn't fix it no matter how hard she tried. It was as though there was something inside of her twisting her normally happy and care-free self into this new bitter Emily, she hated it but she was helpless to stop it.

For her part Effy would have laughed at Emily's unconscious echo of her sisters words, if the twin hadn't sounded so frustrated she might even have pointed it out. Instead she forced a small smile and mirrored her own words, hoping if she said it enough she could believe it 'Great, it's really lovely'

The short, staccato answer caused Emily to frown. It briefly crossed her mind that she'd pissed the brunette off, but then she realised this was Effy and it would take a lot more than a few bitchy words to chase her away.

Effy fidgeted as she waited for the twin to respond, she knew the other girl could see through her lies so before she could stop herself she resorted to her normal blunt approach 'Why did she do it?'

'What?' Emily asked, clearly thrown by the sudden change in tactic.

'Sophia' Effy elaborated, 'Why did she fuck her?'

Emily closed her eyes, trying to block out the images of Naomi with another girl the redhead fought against the wave of nausea that washed over her. Swallowing hard she waited for it to pass, for the pain to turn to anger 'Because I love her'

The words sounded ridiculous as she said them, even more so because they were the truth, and the sudden realisation of just how much she had been fucked over hit her. A bitter laugh escaped her lips, raw and full of hate the sound crashed around them causing Effy to shift as she turned to face her friend

'Emily'

The pity was evident but Emily shrugged it off, not wanting to deal with the reality the twin stood abruptly the sudden movement causing her head to spin as she pitched forwards with renewed determined to get as far away everyone was possible.

Effy's voice was stronger this time as she stood and followed her friend 'Emily'

'Don't' the twin half-shouted, running her hands through her matted hair as she tried to compose herself 'Just leave me alone'

'Sorry, can't do that' Effy reasoned, as she followed the twin's unsteady progress across the thankfully empty park.

'What the fuck do you care anyway Effy?' Emily raged 'Why don't you just piss off back to Freddie?'

Effy stood in shock for a moment as she watched Emily retrieve her vodka from where she had thrown it. She didn't really know what she had expected when she had followed the other girl; in fact she wasn't even sure why she had done it at all. It wasn't as if they were close friends, but there was something about the other girl that made Effy want to care and that had nothing with the new persona she was trying.

Watching the almost unrecognisable figure stagger away Effy took a deep breath, she might not be the best person for this but she was the only one here now.

'How's it working for you?' Effy questioned, striding in front of Emily and grabbing her tightly by the shoulders, forcing her to stop.

Staring into the other girl's fiery eyes Emily scoffed 'What?'

'Pushing everyone away, great isn't it? No family, no friends…makes everything a lot easier huh?' Effy berated, before adopting a soft tone 'You can't do this Emily'

'I'm not you Effy okay? Don't try and act like you know me, or anything about this, just because you've got your shit together doesn't mean you get to act all superior'

'I'm not I just-'

'You don't get it' Emily continued oblivious to the other girl's words as her emotions rushed to the surface. Glaring at the brunette in front of her Emily shouted 'I'm not pushing anyone away because I don't have anyone!'

Effy blinked in shocked, the raw words cutting through her as she look in confusion at the tear stained face in front of her.

Emily for her part scoffed at her friend 'Oh come on Eff, it's not exactly a shock is it?

'But it's not true' Effy argued, her confidences dissipating.

'Yeah you're right, I don't know which I should be more thankful for' the redhead spat 'A homophobic mother doing her best to turn the rest of my family against me, after letting me know I'm not welcoming in my own home or my girlfriend who cheats on me and rips my heart out'

Effy stayed silent as she processed the torrent of words streaming at her. But Emily wasn't done. Her shouts had gradually become quieter and quieter and the roaring anger was gone, leaving only a dejected and broken acceptance 'I risked everything for her and she fucked it all up. She broke us and now I have no-one because I don't know how to forgive her'

Sighing the redhead turned away, unable to meet the other girl's gaze she slowly walked away the venom lost as she felt her throat tighten, she let out a bitter laugh 'No snappy comeback Eff?'

She had only made it a few steps when she felt a hand on her arm, gentle and undemanding she felt Effy move to stand close behind her 'You have me'

Emily moved slowly, turning to face Effy she stared at the girl in front of her in disbelief, of all the people she could have imagined in this situation Effy would have been the last but here she was.

The brunette didn't wait for a response, instead she offered a small smile and reached down to take Emily's hand 'Come on, you're freezing'

Making their way back towards the house Effy felt the twin's hesitance but continued their journey. As they reached the path outside the normally stoic girl smiled and wrapped a comforting arm around her friend 'It's okay, Thomas was getting everyone out when I left, something about a party across town and the rest of the Fitches made a pretty quick exit too'

Emily nodded, the alcohol was beginning to wear off now and she could feel the cold seeping in through her wet cloths and so she allowed Effy to steer her into the house as she shivered.

The silence inside was deafening, but for the first time in a while Emily welcomed it she knew she wouldn't be able to deal with anyone right now, the energy from early had gone vanished with her fake happiness as she had tried to drown her sorrows and the last thing she could deal with was another argument.

As Emily blanked out the events of the day she allowed Effy to guide her upstairs, leaning most of her weight on her friend the redhead was surprised at the small girl's strength. It wasn't soon before they reached the top of the stairs and Emily gestured in the direction of the spare room, unable to face the familiarity of Naomi's.

As they entered the room Effy carefully manoeuvred Emily onto the mattress on the floor, kneeling down she tried to catch her gaze but Emily stared blankly at the floor lost in her own thoughts.

'Come on Em' the brunette said quietly, 'You can't stay in these clothes, you'll freeze'

Effy sighed as the twin showed no sign that she was even aware of her presence, standing the brunette looked around the room debating her next move 'Okay I'll be right back'

Slinking from the spare room Effy disappeared only to reappear a few moments later clutching clean, dry clothes and edging towards the bed she knelt in front of her friend who still hadn't moved.

Effy offered the redhead a comforting smile as she began to unlace Emily's shoes, removing them and placing to one side she began on the mass of jewellery that had tangled with the twin's hair. When she had sorted all of the necklaces Effy began to comb through the matted red locks. It was a slow progress as she used extra care not to hurt her friend and when she was done Effy nodded in satisfaction before breaking the silence 'You wanna put these on?'

Gesturing to the t-shirt and jogging bottoms she had dug out from Naomi's room, taking extra time to make sure they belonged to Emily, Effy waited for a response. As she half-expected the twin remained sat in her sullen state. Nodding Effy made a decision 'Okay'

Slowly she reached out and pulled at the hem of Emily's dress, easing it over the twin's head she threw it to the side and before the redhead could flinch at the cold air she eased the clean t-shirt down, rubbing her hands against the twin's shoulders in an attempt to warm her.

Effy smiled as she felt the other girl lean into her touch and moving to sit on the bed she pull Emily into a tight hug, easing backwards she moved so they were lying down wrapping Emily's small frame with her own Effy whispered calming words to her friend as she felt the tears begin to fall.

'It's okay Ems, you're gonna be okay. I promise'

It was some hours later that Effy awoke, tensing as she felt the gentle weight of a body on hers, she looked down and she saw that Emily was still fast asleep. Carefully untangling their limbs Effy lifted herself off the bed, trying not to disturb the sleeping form she draped a blanket across the twin and made her way across the room.

Once in the hallway she closed the door behind her, pausing to make sure she no-one was around she let out a sigh of relief and headed to the stairs. As she reached the bottom she heard someone padding down the hallway towards her, looking up she was met with the sight of Katie, clad only in a town looking at her in confusion.

'What are you doing here?'

Rolling her eyes Effy brushed past Katie and headed for the front door, hesitating as she reached to open it she turned back to the other girl 'Emily's upstairs'

Katie frowned at this; unaware anyone else was in the house 'Is she okay?'

'No' Effy stated truthfully, biting her lip as she registered Katie's concerned look 'But she will be. I think she…she needs her sister'

As she opened the door Effy couldn't help but smile as she heard Katie clambered quickly up the stairs, and closing the door behind her the brunette headed down the path and away from the house.


End file.
